tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-75110409754284773132009-07-15T08:28:54.523-07:00Kikimusehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07998561753569742959noreply@blogger.comBlogger69125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7511040975428477313.post-28603015229516434482009-07-15T08:28:00.000-07:002009-07-15T08:28:54.539-07:00

While talking to a friend recently I realized something about myself. She made the statement: "sex changes friendship", and I agreed. Sort of. Part of me went "yeah.. I get that" -- in a way that 43 years of observing the world has taught me to understand abstract concepts. Another part of me (the part that feels stuff) said... "Huh?"Sex and friendship for me just go together. That doesn't

kikinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7511040975428477313.post-84242639775765024592009-06-04T00:53:00.000-07:002009-06-04T00:53:38.438-07:00

 I wrote this awhile ago as a twist on the usual "girls with cucumbers" fantasy.   I'm excited because I'm going to the beach for a picnic with this cute girl I like, though I don't know her very well.  She's about my height, with dark brown hair, grey eyes, full lips and the sweetest figure...  just turned 30 yesterday, and laughing that she's no longer a kid.  Mmm, I have a huge crush.  I've

kikinoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7511040975428477313.post-12180971742253569252009-06-02T12:44:00.000-07:002009-06-02T12:44:43.096-07:00

1. Go to bed naked. 2. Make sure your pillow smells yummy (your lover's hair, your own musk, lavendar, a kitten... ) 3. Leave your window open -- night air is delicious & nutritious. 4. Fall asleep after a delicious orgasm. 5. When you wake up, touch and say goodmorning to the parts of your body you love the most.  Then say goodmorning to the other parts.  Take your time.  :) 6. Have a

kikinoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7511040975428477313.post-23784293790126327432009-04-20T08:12:00.000-07:002009-04-20T20:44:10.123-07:00

Ah, I love the insights being a switch has given me into the murky world of my own sexual psyche! I like to think of my proclivity for swinging from one kinky pendulum extreme to another (with pauses to enjoy all the delicious ambiguities in the middle) as a way of achieving balance in my relationships. One of the things I've noticed is that I cannot consciously determine whether I'm going to

kikinoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7511040975428477313.post-88073385194559023972009-04-13T22:15:00.000-07:002009-04-13T22:22:42.336-07:00

Since I've been doing more poly relationship workshops lately I find I'm being asked more frequently about my LDRs (long distance relationships) and how I manage to sustain or even tolerate them. It seems that many people, even poly ones who have the opportunity to form more than one intimate relationship at a time, still find the idea of not being frequently in the physical presence of a loved

kikinoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7511040975428477313.post-70553513576436801252009-04-09T08:58:00.000-07:002009-04-09T08:58:37.150-07:00

This post is a response I made to a friend who had an experience with his Lady while being topped by her.  Their relationship is still relatively new, and she had found it somewhat distressing that he began to cry after a particularly intense topping session.   I've only had this happen once, and it was the first time my partner had ever topped me after years of me having been HIS Top.  On

kikinoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7511040975428477313.post-73195078711788887962009-04-01T00:35:00.000-07:002009-04-01T00:35:19.512-07:00

Check out Victoria Poly 101 ... for all your poly questions, curiosities and basic poly needs!

kikinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7511040975428477313.post-39480888623416396412009-03-27T07:37:00.000-07:002009-03-27T07:37:42.254-07:00

I sing the body electric, The armies of those I love engirth me and I engirth them, They will not let me off till I go with them, respond to them, And discorrupt them, and charge them full with the charge of the soul. --Walt Whitman ******* I don't expect my partners will give me everything I need, but I do expect the Universe to give me exactly what I need, when I need it.  My job is to

kikinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7511040975428477313.post-65653701771291516112009-03-03T14:51:00.000-08:002009-03-03T15:17:01.920-08:00

I've been thinking about the qualities I seek and admire in those I partner with, and I discovered that one of the most important qualities is courage. Not the kind of courage that means someone will do dangerous things, or look for battles to fight -- the courage I'm talking about is the the kind required to face demons, usually our own, and honestly be ourselves in the face of a bewildering

kikinoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7511040975428477313.post-65427581397908307052009-02-25T09:37:00.000-08:002009-02-25T09:37:33.132-08:00

Last night I held a Poly 101 evening at a local bistro, in the hopes of encouraging the new and curious to come out and ask the questions they might be having about polyamory.  I've been to similar sessions over the last few years and found them extremely helpful in sorting out some of my own feelings about practicing and identifying as poly, and one of the things I love about attending them

kikinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7511040975428477313.post-85340806697983116762009-02-24T09:28:00.001-08:002009-02-24T09:28:42.145-08:00

NRE (New Relationship Energy) sometimes gets a bad rap in polyamorous circles because of the upset new and intense emotions can create among relatively stable existing relationship dynamics. While this can be true, and it's also true that some people tend to groove on NRE so much that they do lose sight of their other partners and commitments, I'd like to point out that there are some perfectly

kikinoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7511040975428477313.post-52319209422516241492009-02-10T13:52:00.001-08:002009-02-10T13:52:26.891-08:00

I'm feeling philosophical today, and a few of my morning readings sparked a pondering on the idea of trust. I think everyone would agree that trust is a concept most commonly equated with honesty and, more importantly, with proof of honesty -- unlike faith, which requires no proof. While some will use the two words interchangeably, I believe they arise from quite different sources. For me,

kikinoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7511040975428477313.post-85508608544808197862009-01-25T09:14:00.000-08:002009-01-25T09:21:06.949-08:00

I find I'm looking at women in a whole new way since seeing Laurel push Maya out with super-human where-did-it-come-from dazzling strength of spirit and body. I am reminded that we are capable of so much more than we realize.Yesterday I was on the train to Barcelona, and I found myself looking at the younger women who probably hadn't had children yet, thinking, "Do you realize the power and

kikinoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7511040975428477313.post-33690605226386582902009-01-24T09:00:00.000-08:002009-01-24T09:01:33.107-08:00

To truly know me, you need to learn my intentions.  To learn my intentions, you need to see my actions.  To love me, you need to love yourself.  Mistakes will be made along the way.  Keep trying.  I love you anyway.

kikinoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7511040975428477313.post-70931784071515553512009-01-18T00:11:00.000-08:002009-01-18T00:14:50.574-08:00

kikinoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7511040975428477313.post-10226065620512144212009-01-15T11:01:00.000-08:002009-01-15T11:47:34.046-08:00

Kiki's helpful Gemini tips for making the most of Mercury retrogradeOk, I'm not an astrologer by any means but I am observant of cycles, and being a child of the Winged Messenger of the Gods I've had to cope more often with his sullen moods than many of you. So here are a few of the strategies I've worked out to help me successfully navigate periods when our collective consciousness deems it's

kikinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7511040975428477313.post-8194693132101288242009-01-08T08:10:00.000-08:002009-01-08T08:13:47.272-08:00

The other day a guy contacted me on a social site and expressed interest in talking to me about polyamory.  He was honest and explicit about being currently in a monogamous relationship and his desire only for friendship.  Great!  I wrote back and said I'd be delighted to discuss one of the topics nearest and dearest to my heart and that I enjoy making new friends.  I also added that I wanted him

kikinoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7511040975428477313.post-11508221755123087362009-01-06T17:38:00.000-08:002009-01-06T18:51:43.490-08:00

I've been musing about nipples. My own, other women's, men's... my kitty's. Nipples are really sort of cool. They perform both a practical and an erotic function. Visually they signal nourishment of many kinds. They're soft and bumpy and fun to touch in all sorts of ways. And they ALL look slightly different. I used to be very self-conscious about mine; I thought they were too big and not

kikinoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7511040975428477313.post-85285848970001406802009-01-03T10:17:00.000-08:002009-01-03T10:20:57.448-08:00

Just be kind. Be grateful. Be happy. (And eat fruit.)

kikinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7511040975428477313.post-12912110647708617442008-12-19T10:25:00.000-08:002008-12-19T10:36:03.206-08:00

The assumptions people make about the world around them astound me sometimes, particularly when they're made in a vacuum. I've encountered people who seem to feel they have it all figured out yet haven't bothered to leave the safe haven of their living room (or neighborhood, or small town...). It particularly astounds me when someone makes assumptions about me, having never bothered to

kikinoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7511040975428477313.post-79430901066289476472008-12-15T09:26:00.001-08:002008-12-15T09:26:24.183-08:00

I have a friend who helps monarch butterflies. She plants milkweed in her garden in California, and the butterflies lay their eggs there, the caterpillars feed on the plants and when they're ready, they build their chrysalises. Apparently they scatter to do this, but my friend has been lucky enough to see quite a few of them who stayed, and has watched them emerge in their winged form. I loved

kikinoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7511040975428477313.post-11745382296852276032008-11-18T11:27:00.001-08:002008-11-18T11:27:52.325-08:00

My morning shower is my lover. I keep the water very warm, so it feels like tongues running up and down the backs of my calves and over the rounded part of my belly. I love how it wraps around my waist like soft arms and curls over my shoulders like tendrils of sun-kissed hair. Like a lover, the water embraces me, accepts my shivers, my moans and my breath. It fills the hollow spaces where

kikinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7511040975428477313.post-37924562831106748352008-11-16T12:22:00.000-08:002008-11-16T12:58:46.268-08:00

In a recent conversation with a partner, he expressed his concern that he wasn't giving me the same amount of time that he gave other partners. This confused me a little, because for me, quantity isn't an overwhelmingly important issue. I am generally more concerned that my interactions with a partner be meaningful and in some way additive to our relationship as a whole. I like to experience

kikinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7511040975428477313.post-54871557724430725182008-11-11T11:19:00.000-08:002008-11-11T11:24:35.657-08:00

Just watch it. 

kikinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7511040975428477313.post-64865275844922136782008-11-08T15:45:00.001-08:002008-11-08T15:49:26.051-08:00

I came across this today and figured it needed sharing. The article is called "How to be Poly-Friendly" by PepperMint (and can also be found here), and it's a good read for both mono and poly folks (as well as the open-minded and generally curious).Here's a teaser:...While this list is addressed to monogamous people, I encourage poly types to read it. We do not suddenly shed our monogamous

kikinoreply@blogger.com0