coming-out in abundance

I've been practicing polyamory for three years now. Before that, I didn't know the word, but the concept has been a part of me for as long as I've been aware of relationships. When my husband and I "discovered" poly and yearned towards it the way a twelve year old girl yearns towards the sensual beauty and freedom of horseback riding, we took things pretty slowly.

We started our journey but we did it carefully and told only a few close friends who we knew would be open-minded (heck, one of them even joined an online poly dating site with us). I figured there would be plenty of time to tell my family after I got my poly feet on the ground, so I started dating, and Sikander started dating, and three years went by. I explored my bisexuality and suddenly felt like a whole person for the first time since I was a kid. We cut our teeth and broke our hearts and discovered that poly, like anything else in life, is complicated, glorious, and above all a multifaceted mirror in which we can either see ourselves reflected in ways we'd never before imagined.

I've spent three years learning more about myself than I have in the last ten, but there's been something missing until recently -- I still felt closeted. So I decided, after talking to a dear poly friend of mine, to tell my family who it is that I've discovered inside this skin of mine -- the good, the bi, and the poly. I wrote a long letter, and I bought a book to send them, so they could read more than just what *I* had to say. I mailed it off and felt numb -- what if they hated the idea? I'm 41 -- old enough to do what I please and old enough to know I'll never stop needing the ones I love. I was scared.

It turned out so well I thought my heart would break from gratitude to the universe for showing me that love is available to me if I'm open to it, and that risk is absolutely necessary to life.

Tonight I talked to my parents on the phone for a couple of hours. We mostly talked about poly, and my choices, and their feelings. They expressed interest, support, and unswerving love for me, as well as gladness at how happy I'm sounding.

I cannot begin to express how warm, loved, and grounded I feel because of their unconditional acceptance. I am, to be honest, a bit dumbfounded. I'm also a true and fervent believer in the concept of "no risk, no gain".

This is what it feels like, for one perfect moment, to feel utterly whole. I could be completely alone for the rest of my life and still feel this profound unity. It makes me want to stretch out my acceptance to everyone who's ever risked all and lost much, to offer love because I'm truly rich in everything I could ever need. Never have I been more sure of being poly than when I see how, with no hesitation, my family upholds the very basic ideal of my life: there is ALWAYS enough love for everyone.